24 April 2009

Side Swiped! En Guarde!

Whoa!  I go to Wendover over night for a conference and come back to whipping posts and lashings?  Cry-minnee!  (phonetically spelled)

I expected comments aimed solely at the last paragraph of my last post, what caught me off guard were the assumptions and interjections.  I will try my bestest to defend myself with what little I have left in me.  

First off, mentioning the two opposites for permanent birth control options was never intended to launch a discussion of who's toughest.  I know birth giving women are tough.  I have heard it is painful.  I understand the physiology of it all by itself makes it painful.  I never once said that childbirth was not painful.  All women who have given birth, are reading this, and felt any pain, stop and pat yourselves on the back right now, you deserve it.  Or call your husbands in to do it for you.  Seriously.  

To speak more to the pain... I did not bring up the two options because I am scared of the pain.  I can tolerate quite a bit of pain, in my opinion.  Just last week the guys at the station made me watch the movie "Superbad."  I know now how they named the movie.  They were not kidding.  It was painful.  It was two hours of my life I can never get back.  That is pain.  Additionally, ever since about 4th grade, my younger brother Doug has been the bigger of the two of us.  Plus we fought.  We fought hard.  And we used weapons.  Those of you old enough to remember the old tin garbage cans that had the separate lids, with a small handle that fit perfect over a younger boys arm in the fashion of a medieval shield, will understand when I say that all three of our were seriously dented.  I remember one in particular being dented with the piece of rebar that Doug was swinging at me.  I also remember the pain when the rebar hit my thigh. Plus the paper swords we use to roll 2x2's into the middle of.  And just in case Mom and Dad are reading, I won't go into detail about the four small holes in my back that we blamed on something other than the fork that Doug stuck in me.  So yeah.  I understand pain.  In all (almost) seriousness though, I think I have a high pain threshold, and therefore the potential pain is not one of the reasons to get or not get the "manhood" snipped.  1 point for no snip snip me.  

I come from a farming family.  I didn't so much grow up on a farm, but there is deep farming stock in my family.  I did have a little exposure growing up since my Dad raised a few pigs on a farm in a small sty he rented in a barn owned by another farmer.  The other farmer had cows, and I remember many days helping with the cows and the pigs.  He also had chickens.  One day my brother Doug and I got to "slop" the pigs.  For you city folk...that means feeding time.  You tossed the several 5 gallon buckets of "slop" into the trough.  Slop consisted of any number of thrown out foods.  Pigs would eat anything, including as we came to know, live chickens.  I remember that one of the chickens was in the trough when we slopped it.  My thoughts were that the chicken would get out of the way when the pigs charged the trough.  Not so.  Perhaps Mr. Chicken didn't have a chance?  The pigs charged in, gobbled the slop, chicken and all.  Not so much of a feather was left.  I am not sure my Dad ever knew this story.  I am also not sure if Alva (the owner of the farm and the chicken) knew he was down one chicken.  My point being I have some farmer in my blood.  Every farmer will tell you that you never get rid of the prize bull.  So, 1 more point for no snippa my manhood.  

As to the Weenee song.  I have no comment.  Seriously, no comment.  Also, I am not surprised that comment came from Angie.  You know what I mean. 

In all this posting and reading and point gathering, I realize that this was definitely the wrong place in the entire world to introduce a topic hoping to get some sound advice and thoughts.  Perhaps if there were a sports blog with male readers?  I am outnumbered here by all you soccer moms.  Call your husbands in and let them sound off on this to make it fair.  The estrogen filled comments were so thick and numerous, I now think estrogen has a flavor.  I could taste it.  It isn't good.  

That came out wrong.  

Anyway.  I mentioned the tubal (correct Rebecca, I did not mean for you to donate your Uterus, but I couldn't think of the word ligation last time, so I went with it) versus Vasectomy just to see what people thought about the procedure, not to induce a name calling pallooza fest.  Thanks though, I think, for your input?  

I didn't even get a chance to go off on our elected officials.

3 comments:

Hendricksonblog said...

I thought of a whole bunch of "thats what she saids" during your tirade but hey dont I get any points for staying neutral? Or Catholic?
I tried not to send any estrogen flavor your way at all, I have none to spare.
Lets talk boob jobs instead!!! or maybe just a lift, nip, and tuck.

Angie said...

Why do boobs sag? I have wondered this and it makes me sad, and Jared.

Doug scares me.

There is more to the weiney song if you want? I will sing it to you next time I see ya.

You are right, you are the prize bull.

Aren't you suppose to be in diz nee land?

The Sumsions said...

Whoooh Chad. So, so sorry if we made you feel like you weren't "tough." It wasn't at all meant to be blow to the gut. We all know you are tough. But seriously, I'm just saying be the bull and buck up and get r done. I'm not even going to start on boobs. No one, and I mean NO ONE, even wants to go there with me. Angie, will you sing me the weiney song?

P.S. - I bet you get your Disney pics up before I do!