03 October 2009

Why I Can't Be an Arizona Cardinals Fan (For Heidi)

A friend of mine suggested I become a fan of the Arizona Cardinals. Sorry Heidi, I just can’t do it. More than just saying “no” though, I want to annotate my “No!”

Number 1: No disrespect, but they drafted a guy with the first name of Beanie as their first pick for the 2009 draft. How can a star running back ever be taken serious with a name like Beanie? Coach should go ahead and just paint a bulls-eye on the front of his jersey. “Nice run Beanie?” Can’t do it.

Number 2: Both of their star receivers take more pride in their hair extensions than in their work ethic. Which reminds me of the time my Brother Danny was going to get cornrows in New York last summer. Click here for that pure entertainment! (You have to either read the whole thing, or scroll down a little to see his top ten list) He actually did get 3 cornrows done before he realized they were 3 bucks a row. I am tired of seeing more hair hanging from Professional Football Players’ helmets. If I were a defender I would yank the hair of the guy I was guarding, penalty or not.

Number 3: I am so over Kurt Warner. I hated him when he played for the Rams and seemed to always rack up points against my fantasy teams, causing me to lose in the playoffs several years in a row. That makes me hate him more than if someone made me watch 24 hours of Teletubbies without a bathroom break. Fantasy sports is serious business. I also think Warner is hanging on to his career way too long. Time to hang it up, Mr Warner. So many bad decisions in so little a time. Go grab Brett Favre and spend time in the motivational speaker circuit before becoming an ESPN analyst!

On the same note, and in the same spirit. I have decided I am a New York Jets fan, and a Green Bay Packers fan, and let me tell you why.

New York Jets:

Number 1: For whatever reason, I started liking the Jets from a young age when my parents bought me a Green Jets Jersey for Christmas. It was number 99 Mark Gastineau. Gastineau was a solid member of the defensive line. I know I have mentioned this before.

Number 2: The Jets are off to a hot start this year, and the one game I did watch was very entertaining. It is easier to get behind a team that wins, at least to start.

Number 3: I have always liked Green as a color.

Number 4: I think the main draw is that I have always said I was a Jets fan, again, stemming from my gift when I was but a boy. My family knows me as a Jets fan, so if the shoe fits, wear it...perhaps?


Number 1: For whatever reason, I drafted a couple of Packers players a few years ago for a fantasy league, and they were awesome. Greg Jennings was one of them. This led me to draft him again. He is a solid wide out with speed and can rack up the fantasy points. Same with Donald Driver. Solid. Great fantasy team additions.

Number 2: Since I drafted some fantasy players, I decided to watch the Packers games when they came on TV. They are a fun team to watch. Their running back, Ryan Grant reminds me of Barry Sanders, who is probably one of my favorite RB’s of all time. Favre was an amazing QB. The comeback king.

Number 3: This should probably be reason number 1 if we are going by level of importance, which I am not, so its number 3... The Strong Safety, Bybee, put such a hit on Randy “the Mouth” Moss a season or two ago that I bet still hurts. I can’t stand Moss, so that made my day. I am sort of partial to defensive plays too. I still recall vividly the hit Steve Atwater (a small free safety for the Broncos) delivered to Christian Okoya ( a large running back for the chiefs). You heard the crack through the TV screen. Such a small guy completely laying a big guy out. Awesome.

Number 4: Aaron Rodgers. I don’t want to like this guy. But, he keeps playing so solid that I am drawn to him. I can’t help but compare him to Steve Young. (Young sat behind Montana as back up for several years before having his breakout performance and subsequently earn the starting spot.) Young was an awesome QB. ( why do I keep mentioning the same guys?) Favre was (is?) an awesome QB. You can not deny that, even if he has trumped even Michael Jordan on the retirement/return fiasco. They have almost reached the level of bad 90210 reruns. How many times can (should) these shows be reran? Let it go. I still can’t get over seeing Favre in purple. If I were a betting man I would place 50/50 odds on a Green Bay fan putting a hit on him before the Vikings go into Lambeau for their game in November. Like a mafia hit. Does Green Bay have a mafia?

So, in summary, these are the teams I am going to cheer for. I am going to buy me a New York Jets pennant. Perhaps a Green Bay Jersey. Label me a fan all over again.

I had to do another sports post. It was requested. Stay tuned for many non sports posts coming down the pipe soon.