23 April 2009

In response to Chad's pennies

I'm back! Sorry it's been a while, but I did just have a baby after all. Really, how long can I keep using that excuse? Because I'm determined to get as much mileage out of it as I can.  How about the I-have-3-kids-under-the-age-of-6-including-a-2-month-old-for-crying-out-loud! excuse? (And, yes, they are all crying out loud at the moment). I know Chad is one half of our parental unit too, but who are we kidding? After five minutes of baby watching he's ready for another baseball vacation. How many trips to baseball stadiums does a guy need in one year?

Let's start by digging in to the can of worms Chad opened. I'll say it right here. I do not like Barrack Obama. I do not like his attitude. I do not like his policies. I do not like him in a boat. I do not like him on a parade float. I do not like him Sam I Am! (oops, sorry I got carried away there.) Now I understand my opinion is not a popular one, but seriously, how many times do we need to see our new celebrity-in-chief speak to the nation on live t.v.? If he preempts Lost again I might have to write to my congressman or attend a rally or something. Or maybe I'll just start my own rally. Who's with me?!? Now, I know the economy's important and all, but so are the fates of the Oceanic 6! I mean, what if Hurley's right and Jack's choice to not operate on young Ben really does change the future! So lets compare. Obama gives us promises he can't fulfill.  Lost gives us Ben, the master-manipulating leader of the others. Obama gives us speeches full of smoke and mirrors. Lost gives us the mysterious smoke monster. Obama gives us foreign relations policies that are questionable, at best. Lost gives us the love quadrangle of Jack, Kate, Sawyer and Juliet. Obama gives us a federal government that oversteps. Lost gives us John Locke, dead man walking! Top that Mr. President!

Now to the easy stuff. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Chad meant tubal ligation and NOT hysterectomy. I may not want any more babies, but I'll keep my uterus, thank you! Look, I'm sure getting your manhood snipped is hard and all, but so is growing a person inside of you for 9 months til it's the size of a football and then pushing it out an opening the size of a golf ball (I'm trying to use analogies the guys can relate to here). It's only fair that Chad have his turn under the knife. Yes, all my deliveries involved a knife. Also, it just make sense to go with the least invasive procedure. I read the little hand out Chad brought home from the doctor's office about the big V. It honestly doesn't look too bad. I'll tell you what Chad, if you get the vasectomy then we'll make it even and I'll get lasik. That's fair, right? Live together, die alone.

So tell me what you think. Do you like Obama? What lies in the shadow of the statue? Is Chad a big wuss, overly protective of his man-parts, or just a typical guy? And did I use to many exclamation points in this post!!!?  Seriously, I had to stop myself from typing the word "seriously" in half of my sentences. Do I use that word too much in real life? I'm gonna have to start taking notice.

5 comments:

Jessica said...

I do not like Obama.

Chad needs to man up! It's really not that big of a deal, I watched Stafford get his. And although he did whine like a three year old for a few days after, you can't even compare it to child birth.

Angie said...

Chad makes me think of the old girls camp song that I loved to sing. It went like this, "I know a weiney man and he owns a weiney stand, some day I'll be his wife, he's little weiney wife..." Classic.

Obama scare the holy crap out of me. He thinks he is Brad Pitt or something. The people of America were tricked into voting a very liberal and out of touch man for president because he is black. I know it doesn't sound nice, but to much focus was put on this election as so historical that people didn't even pay attention to the issues at stake. That leaves us in this humongo mess.

Nice to see you posting!

Julie said...

Your post makes me laugh! I did not vote for Obama but I really tried to give him a chance. But everytime he talks I loose more money in my retirement so I say stop talking and definately stop prempting my friends show!

As for Chad, buck up dude! Pregnancy is hard and not for only three days.

Good luck, keep posting because I really need a good laugh these days!

Hendricksonblog said...

c'mon who's not completely interested and just waiting by the tv or internet to see what dog they got. This is the important stuff America should be worrying about. I'm so sick of the black/white crap........all the other ethnic groups should start a war over that. C'mon how many years ago did we get over that (no really Im not good at history when was that exactly?)
I am laughing out loud about the weiney song angie and dont worry about your excessive punctuation Rebecca, rarely make the effort to push shift to capitalize things that should be.

The Sumsions said...

This was a great post. First off, I agree that if Obama interrupts ANY of my shows again well ... well, you know there is nothing I can do about it but PLEASE, Lost is way more important. That was one good thing about Bush, they tried to keep that guy off of t.v. as much as possible. I hate politics. I vote, I'm proud to be an American, I support our soldiers, but seriously people talk and talk and talk but it's not going to change a darn thing. I don't have enough power, money or fame to have any influence on America. I'll keep raising my kids to be good upstanding citizens and leave the Country to suffer the doom that is to come. I don't mean to make it sound depressing, but really, who are we kidding?

Moving on to the other topic - yes, yes and yes. Chad does need to stop complaining, man up and just deal with it. Sorry Chad :( It's just what has to be done. BTW, does this mean you are offically done having kids? Not that it isn't a personal question or anything.

Angie - - you crack me up! Who's idea was it to start singing that song at girl's camp anyway? Ha ha. Love it.