1980's

I guess my post about nostalgia is continuing because I have more on my mind and want to discuss it here. The 80's have been on my mind for many reasons. Hopefully I get them all in here...

First off, the whole Michael Jackson thing. Never mind the Michael Jackson of the late 90's and early 2000's. I am talking pre-Neverland Ranch slumber party Michael Jackson. The true King of Pop and the era that earned him that title. His death today took me back to the day when I use to stay up late watching MTV hoping to see his Thriller video

but always seeing Take On Me by Aha instead. MTV was such a cool channel when it played music and the VJ's were cool. Remember downtown Julie Brown, and Dr Dre (not to be confused with the Dr Dre from NWA!) and Ed Lover were the hosts of MTV Raps? Pauly Shore was a favorite, and I had a crush on Martha Quinn. I still laugh when I think about John Norris with MTV News! He looked like such a dork! But, mmmm, Martha Quinn!

I was also reading a post by Bill Simmons on ESPN.com. (you can click that to be taken there) His article is about why 1984 was the greatest year ever. Regardless if you agree with him or not, he has some good points, and it was fun to read his article. (I disagree with him though about Night Court and some of the influential people he mentions.) Reading his article reminded me of a few other things that he didn't mention, mostly because he has no idea these things occurred, but also because he is a little ignorant! It wasn't 1984, but it was the 80's nonetheless. Rewind back to junior high and collecting sports cards. Have I mentioned this before? Anyway, my buddy Jazey advises me to buy every Michael Jordan rookie card

I can get my hands on. At that time they were going for about 10 bucks. 10 bucks was a lot of money to me then, and Jordan played basketball, a sport I didn't collect. So I laughed in his face and said no way. Instead I spent the money on Mark McGwire rookie cards, which were about 5 bucks. This was a great investment to me. McGwire broke the home record for a single season and his cards skyrocketed....until the steroid news broke.

Now they are worth about 3 bucks, and I still have a pile of them in a box. Don't even ask me what the Jordan's are worth.

He mentions Night Court and Hot Rod Rowdy Roddy Piper, but left out the Ultimate Warrior

and the Junkyard Dog. Two classic wrestling phenoms!

I loved George Orwell's 1984, but I loved Van Halen's 1984 better.

It seems like I woke up to "Jump" every morning on the radio. (What is the deal with the cover to that album though? A tot smoking a pack of Camels?) When I read 1984 in Jr High, I didn't realize it would be prophetic to today. Back to Night Court, I think Mr Simmons mentions he hated it, but I will overlook that typo because I usually enjoy his writing. Who could ever hate Night Court? I own seasons 1 and 2 on DVD and can't wait for them to release the remaining 4 seasons.

I didn't intend this to be a book report on that article, but he brings up so many things. His linked article about the Karate Kid is so entertaining. It also stole an idea I had for a future post here... but go read it.

Moving on...

So that's my Nostalgia continued. I was hoping my last article here about sports and book club would elicit more responses from my male friends and readers, to help with the argument. I know this is suppose to be a sound off between the wife and I, but it is becoming a place for me to post whatever I want because she never writes here. Sorry about that. I honestly thought my cliff notes research of Twilight would shock her into writing. I keep promising a post about my job, and I promise it is coming... but it requires the right approach and the right timing.

Lessons on Sports For You Female Readers

Don't let the title fool ya, this will be informative to all you stay at home soccer mom's that I have come to realize are the main, probably only, readers of these posts.

So I was thinking about this the other day. So many women hate it when the men of the house watch sports. I have often wondered what the big deal is?

Is it because there are so many sports on TV? I battle this argument with the fact that a straight comparison between televised sports and all the shows you women watch: Bachelor, American Idol, Lost, Found, Survivor, any one of the 10 dancing shows, America and Talent, Bachelorette, etc etc.... would reveal that you have many more shows to keep up on than we have sports to watch. So that's not valid, to me.

I have heard other arguments that so much time is wasted in front of the television. That may be the case in some homes, but I am approaching this from the standpoint that husband x works at least a 40 hour week, takes care of the yard whether it be mowing the lawn or shoveling the snow, and does his fair share of other duties around the house. Yells at the kids when they act up once in a while, takes out the garbage when it is too stinky for wife x to do so, etc. So we are throwing that out as well.

Actually, I am throwing out all arguments and offering my explanation without responding to a specific antithesis.

Guys get together and watch sports to bond. Yes, it is that simple. Here's where I relate to my feminine side... Think of it as book club. I know if this were a cartoon, a light bulb would be hovering over half of the heads right now!

So its not a light bulb, but every Simpson's fan knows that if Homer is thinking of a doughnut, it represents a good idea!

Again, I digress. So yeah, book club. You women think that you have us fooled. That you really get together on a monthly basis to talk about the book you have all passed around the neighborhood. Yeah Right! We know better, and we are okay with the fact that you really want to meet up to catch up on all the latest gossip. Perhaps you discuss the book for 10 of the 90 minutes or longer. We understand that you need that time. That's what sports watching is for us. A book Club of sorts for the men. Even though very little conversation is necessary at our meetings. A simple high five, or shared excitement over a great play can transfer more information than the hours of gossip you divulge.

So just as you live vicariously through the damsel in distress that is saved by a vampire, we too cheer on our teams or favorite players because in some small way we escape to that stadium as well. You have book clubs centered around Harry Potter stories, we have the Los Angeles Angels. You have Edward Cullen and Bella Swan against the Vulturi and Demetri, we have the rivalries like Yankees versus Redsox, Giants and A's, Packers and Vikings, and on and on and on. It really comes down to the same thing. So go to those book clubs and discuss the affairs of the neighborhood and so and so's sex life, but leave us to our sports.

Go Angels.

Commentary

Again, I am bored and feel I have something to say. In all honesty, I just like to write and hope that at least 2 people are entertained by it. Plus, we just got back from a 911 call at work, and I don't like going back to bed when we have to be up in less than an hour anyway. Are those enough reasons for you? Just read on.

The other day I had a dentist appointment. I have a couple theories I want to share with you. First, what is about dentists that make them feel they have to talk to you? I was laying there on the table, the dentist has a tool in each hand and both of them are in my mouth that is stretched as far open as I could possibly stretch, the dental assistant is also close by, with a high pressure squirt tube and a suction thing, both of which are also about to go in my mouth, and the dentist says, "So what are your plans for the summer, Chad?" Is this guy serious? Don't get me wrong, I love my dentist. I continue to drive all the way out to Magna for this dentist, because he is good. (Side note: in all the cliche's of the world, of course a dentist in Magna will be good right...he has lots of business!) Anyway, I tried to answer the guy's question, to not be rude, but I have yet to master the technique of talking when there are two hands, 10 fingers, a scraper, a drill, a high pressure water hose, and a suction device in my mouth.

My other theory on dental hygiene. First some background. My parents always took me to regular dental check-ups every six months my whole life. I also was a very good teeth-brusher. ( I have always wondered why it is called a toothbrush when we use it on multiple teeth) At least morning and night. So consequently, I never had a cavity. Then came time for me to go on a mission. In the mission field, you do not have regular six month dental visits. Due to this, I decided to be even better and start flossing regularly. So for two years on my mission I brushed multiple times a day, and flossed at least 4-5 times a week. Then I come home from my mission and start the regular check ups again. First check-up says I have 15 cavities. Holy crap right?!?! I never expected to have worse teeth than Flavor Flav. So I get the cavities done and decide to stop flossing. I floss twice a year when the dental assistants do it for me. They always lecture me about flossing and that I need to do it or I will get cavities. I have not flossed more than a handful of times since I came home from the mission (Aug 96), other than the times when the dental assistants do it as part of my check up. I also have not had a cavity since coming home either. So all that background info gets me to the point: Flossing is a tool of dentists to keep them in business. It cleans your teeth to the point that it keeps new, fresh bacteria constantly invading the space between teeth. I am convinced on this. Nothing you say will convince me otherwise.

I had another story to write about from work, but now it is wake up time and I have daily chores and equipment checks to get done, so I must leave you in suspense.

Enough Already.

I am so tired of the lies from Washington.  I am so sick and tired of the President that is trying to win the Homecoming King popularity vote more than he is trying to lead the Country.  I think the problem is that he does not know how to lead.  He knows how to "dupe."  His teleprompter knows how to lead him through articulate speeches and how to wow the people with his fancy rhetoric.  After a blubbering Bush, he sounds like a Saint right?  We are in serious trouble.  It is time more of us realize this.  I do not want to wake up one morning and wonder what happened to our Country.  This slowly whittling away at our way of life is so scary.  

I am also extremely confused by Hussein Obama's latest pledge to go after corporations and investors that have foreign accounts.  He says that the United States will not stand for people who hide their income in off shore savings to avoid taxes.  Excuse me, but didn't half of his cabinet proposals have tax evasion issues that he was willing to overlook?  And now he wants to go after the little people?

WOW!

I hope you are all paying close attention.  This whole deal with Chrysler has basically outsourced another American Company and sold out to some European company that also makes huge contributions to American campaigns for elected positions.  

We can make a difference.  We do have a voice.  If we do not use our voices, we will wake up one morning living in the Former United States of America.  I am too tired to post links to the things I have referenced above, but simple google searches will provide sources.  

We are not doing much better locally.  Keep a close eye on the actions of the RHINO Huntsman.  (republican in name only).  His Socialistic policies are taking our State right to the levels Rocky Anderson wanted SLC to go.  

Sorry to go on a rant about Politics, but hopefully it gets at least one more person thinking about things.  Check back later this week for another entertaining, non political, post.  I have stuff to say all of the sudden!!!

Side Swiped! En Guarde!

Whoa!  I go to Wendover over night for a conference and come back to whipping posts and lashings?  Cry-minnee!  (phonetically spelled)

I expected comments aimed solely at the last paragraph of my last post, what caught me off guard were the assumptions and interjections.  I will try my bestest to defend myself with what little I have left in me.  

First off, mentioning the two opposites for permanent birth control options was never intended to launch a discussion of who's toughest.  I know birth giving women are tough.  I have heard it is painful.  I understand the physiology of it all by itself makes it painful.  I never once said that childbirth was not painful.  All women who have given birth, are reading this, and felt any pain, stop and pat yourselves on the back right now, you deserve it.  Or call your husbands in to do it for you.  Seriously.  

To speak more to the pain... I did not bring up the two options because I am scared of the pain.  I can tolerate quite a bit of pain, in my opinion.  Just last week the guys at the station made me watch the movie "Superbad."  I know now how they named the movie.  They were not kidding.  It was painful.  It was two hours of my life I can never get back.  That is pain.  Additionally, ever since about 4th grade, my younger brother Doug has been the bigger of the two of us.  Plus we fought.  We fought hard.  And we used weapons.  Those of you old enough to remember the old tin garbage cans that had the separate lids, with a small handle that fit perfect over a younger boys arm in the fashion of a medieval shield, will understand when I say that all three of our were seriously dented.  I remember one in particular being dented with the piece of rebar that Doug was swinging at me.  I also remember the pain when the rebar hit my thigh. Plus the paper swords we use to roll 2x2's into the middle of.  And just in case Mom and Dad are reading, I won't go into detail about the four small holes in my back that we blamed on something other than the fork that Doug stuck in me.  So yeah.  I understand pain.  In all (almost) seriousness though, I think I have a high pain threshold, and therefore the potential pain is not one of the reasons to get or not get the "manhood" snipped.  1 point for no snip snip me.  

I come from a farming family.  I didn't so much grow up on a farm, but there is deep farming stock in my family.  I did have a little exposure growing up since my Dad raised a few pigs on a farm in a small sty he rented in a barn owned by another farmer.  The other farmer had cows, and I remember many days helping with the cows and the pigs.  He also had chickens.  One day my brother Doug and I got to "slop" the pigs.  For you city folk...that means feeding time.  You tossed the several 5 gallon buckets of "slop" into the trough.  Slop consisted of any number of thrown out foods.  Pigs would eat anything, including as we came to know, live chickens.  I remember that one of the chickens was in the trough when we slopped it.  My thoughts were that the chicken would get out of the way when the pigs charged the trough.  Not so.  Perhaps Mr. Chicken didn't have a chance?  The pigs charged in, gobbled the slop, chicken and all.  Not so much of a feather was left.  I am not sure my Dad ever knew this story.  I am also not sure if Alva (the owner of the farm and the chicken) knew he was down one chicken.  My point being I have some farmer in my blood.  Every farmer will tell you that you never get rid of the prize bull.  So, 1 more point for no snippa my manhood.  

As to the Weenee song.  I have no comment.  Seriously, no comment.  Also, I am not surprised that comment came from Angie.  You know what I mean. 

In all this posting and reading and point gathering, I realize that this was definitely the wrong place in the entire world to introduce a topic hoping to get some sound advice and thoughts.  Perhaps if there were a sports blog with male readers?  I am outnumbered here by all you soccer moms.  Call your husbands in and let them sound off on this to make it fair.  The estrogen filled comments were so thick and numerous, I now think estrogen has a flavor.  I could taste it.  It isn't good.  

That came out wrong.  

Anyway.  I mentioned the tubal (correct Rebecca, I did not mean for you to donate your Uterus, but I couldn't think of the word ligation last time, so I went with it) versus Vasectomy just to see what people thought about the procedure, not to induce a name calling pallooza fest.  Thanks though, I think, for your input?  

I didn't even get a chance to go off on our elected officials.